I hear anorexia is lovely this time of year! (Matty will be so proud of me.)
Things I ate yesterday:
3 cups of coffee
toast with cucumbers (yeah fuck you, I eat cucumber sandwiches for breakfast, kiss my Lilly)
iced coffee
plate of lettuce
cup of gazpacho
2 glasses Chardonnay
1 glass white sangria
3 (?) glasses absinthe (WHY? CARNEY! WHY?)
BOURBON WAY TOO MUCH FUCKING BOURBON WHY THE FUCK DO I CONTINUE TO DRINK THAT POISON AND HOW DO I NOT LOOK LIKE I’M 92 BECAUSE HONESTLY THAT’S HOW I FEEL OH MY GOD AND I CANNOT RESEARCH TOXIC MOLD TODAY I JUST CANNOT POSSIBLY DO IT AND REALLY I HAVE TO GO OUT AND DRINK MORE LATER TODAY THAT JUST CANNOT HAPPEN I’M MOVING TO TEXAS I HATE NEW YORK AND ALL OF YOU AND GO AWAY BLOGGERS YOU ARE THE WORST SORT EVER.
Now if you’ll excuse me I need to go slaughter the couch because I’d like to have a steak for breakfast.
