(Sorry this is sooo long!)
To: Laura
From: Jolie
Subject: Commenter’s Ball Recap
In my bikini on the lanai, guzzling water and looking at my pack of cigarettes like, oh you’ve got to be kidding me.
This is going to be totally disjointed, because frankly I’m totally disjointed right now. Didn’t get a lot of sleep last night and was up at the crack of dawn [redacted]. But I’ll try to provide some order to this commentary (HA! COMMENTary, GET IT, GET IT!?!)
Gawker people:
Richard
Sheila
Hamilton
Spiegelman
Blakeley
James Del
Scott Kidder
JORY!!!!
MISTER DENTON!!!
No Pareene (SAD!)(I LOVE ME SOME PAREENE!)
I’ve met Richard, Sheila & Pareene before and just adore them. I actually got more Sheila time than at the last meet up which was great – I think she’s so smart and funny and she told me that [redacted]!
Spiegelman was awesome, just as darling and neurotic as I imagined. And people were, like, so excited to meet him. Mr. Denton was very funny about Weekend Gawker when the subject came up, he just said “I don’t even read it. I don’t want to know.”
Hamilton was cool. He stayed a long time too.
Blakeley called me a mean name.
James Del was the awesome. Scott Kidder was darling, and completely freaked out that I recognized him. I was all, Dude no worries - everyone here knows what my tits look like naked!
I want Jory to be my new gay boyfriend. I mean he’s the SuperGay IT Warrior and I’m the supergoddess, it’s clearly meant to be. I love Jory. Love. LOVE LOVE LOVE JORY. He seemed to tolerate my antics even though I’m, you know, NUTS.
I’m going to have to tell you about Mister Denton at a later date. I’m still star struck. And I’m totally not kidding. I also called him Mister Denton to his face all night. I’m hopeless.
Commenters:
The Girls – I loved a lot of girls but I met so many people for such a short time it’s hard to keep them all straight. BK-KT and I are soulmates. Sassypants is FREAKING GORGEOUS and I want to drink exotic beverages with her in string bikinis. Bakes is my favorite new little sister who’s actually so much tougher and grown up than me. CodePink I know and love already. The Real JR was very nice and made a point of introducing herself which I love. Manners! Unfun was fun! And very cute, with new dark hair that I liked and a pretty dress with high heels and oh how I love girls who dress up. That was actually one great thing, how lovely so many of the girls looked. There are loads of other people I really liked but I’m blanking on a lot right now. Bourbon. Ooof. Dorothy Mantooth came late and we were so excited to see each other we almost fell over on the sidewalk.
The Boys – Conbon is the greatest, I created a massive scene when I finally met him and carried on like a fool. He’s also very tall and I may have leapt on him. Moff and The Soon To Be Mrs. Moff, who I know, were there and fabulous as always. Mike Jahn was very cool and had good journalism back in the day stories. Wacko Jacko was super nice. Nard was cool. Ziggy Stardust was very nice, and in light of our recent contretemps I was glad he came out and the air got cleared. John Carney was a hilarious little muppet and I adore him. I like boys.
Misc.:
Someone brought me a tub of condoms that I passed around the bar. The lemon squares & brownies were eaten. Neel Shah from Radar came to cover the event, and Blakeley practically dragged me by my hair over to him for questioning. I wasn’t happy about it at all and apologize to Alex Balk for the myriad curses I laid upon him – sorry about that cloven footed first son, my darling! I sent him a sorry ass email this morning weeping and rending my garments because I felt like I was being bullied but they aren’t running the piece so I’m happy now. PHEW! BrianVan had to remind me not to make out with him in public but I did it anyway. BrianVan made me make out with a girl at the bar. I did, she was a nice kisser and very cute and blonde! BrianVan [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted]
I’m very hungover but feeling quite pleased with myself!
