just say jolie

November 8

Puppy & I are drinking white wine spritzers and having a therapeutic viewing of “War of the Roses”

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youngmanhattanite:

Now I “get it.”

EXCITED CLAPPING.

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I'm sure that today they'll play that cockmonkey of a Better Than Ezra song.

Jolie: I just walked into the gym. They're playing "Dyslexic Heart" *gunshot*
Me: But Jolie. MY HEART COULD USE SOME GLASSES.

November 7

Homemade pasta with the biggest drunks ever? Disaster, pretty much.

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Aww, they look like they’re having so much fun - can we all agree not to tell them what ‘merde girl’ means?

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[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]

Your Daily 90s: Morrissey, “Will Never Marry”

I amuse myself endlessly.

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AND IF THE DEVIL IS 6

It’s been two weeks, the bruises still haven’t faded (I mean the literal ones - I’m not about to talk to you about any sort of psychic bruising bullshit), and friends keep tagging me in photos from a night I’d rather forget, which is just, like, “HEY LOSER SLUTBAG REMEMBER WHEN YOU ACTED LIKE A COMPLETE HO IN FRONT OF A BUNCH OF PEOPLE YOU REALLY DIDN’T WANT TO KNOW THAT YOU ACTUALLY ARE A COMPLETE HO?? YEAH THAT WAS FUNNY LET ME KEEP BRINGING IT UP!!” and so I’m going to just ask that you accept without question my plan to lie in bed for the rest of time listening to the Pixies, okay?

November 6

(via brianvan)

EXCITED CLAPPING POLCARI’S!!!

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Krisanne: when did you grow a blood pumping vessel?!
me: Shhh, don't tell anyone - it'll ruin my rep.
Krisanne: It'd ruin your rep if I told people you didnt fuck on the first date.
me: But then you'd just be lying

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[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]

brianvan:

Your Daily 90s: Eminem, Nate Dogg, DMX, Xzibit, Ja Rule, & 2Pac - Bitch Please III (DJ Defcon Remix)

BrianVan, you promised me Dre and Snoop and instead I get some bullshit from 2000? Turd please.

Okay but really, in all sincerity thank you for guest tumblejaying Your Daily 90s this week and for generally being an all-around good turd. (Aww, see how I can be nice?)

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ouizy:

JOYCE WISCHNIA! (I love that you can see her purse strap across her bosom.)

There are not enough OMGs in the world to properly express my reaction to this photo. JOYCE WISCHNIA!

November 5

The Awl | Will Wine Mess Up Your Grill?

I appreciate the gesture, but no, still not going back.

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[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]

brianvan:

Your Daily 90s: Prodigy - “Narayan” + “Firestarter” (continuous mix)

I feel contractually obligated to reblog this, but I also feel compelled to tell you that it horrifies me to have The Prodigy anywhere near my pretty pink blog.

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[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]

Billy Ocean, “When the Going Gets Tough, the Tough Get Going”

Just so we’re all clear on things: As far as I’m concerned, the world would be a better place if every movie ever were a Michael Douglas/Kathleen Turner vehicle.

November 4

“ Dear sweet Jesus they put it at the top of the page. Now I cannot even pretend it’s not there. This is the best and worst day of my life, yes.